Re-invention
Back before I arrived here, the age I’m going to call BGN (Before Goat Nanniness), I was scared to come out here. I think I spent the last three nights before I left crying in my room, which is never fun but it was late enough I didn’t have anybody fussing over me. But during one of those nights, I was IMing a really good friend of mine, and I was like “I’m scared, I know it’s too late to back out, but I really don’t want to do this.” And he said to me, “Hon, think of it as your Forks (an allusion to Twilight [we're both really into the series]), you can change who you are. You can possibly find your Edward (at the time, I liked him, a lot. Nothing would become of the crush though)…you can reinvent yourself.” I smiled, that really made my night. but then I thought about it, “What if people don’t like who i become?” He said, “They can deal with me then” That really made my night when he said that. And here I am…6 weeks later, I’ve changed.
I guess you can say before I got here I would always define myself and limit myself with those self definitions, my Aunt quickly changed that. I am who I am. No major definition there. Before I got here I would NEVER have walked into Sear’s junior department and spot the vest and gray tee combo and say “oh my God. I love it, that’s adorable.” And try it on, I’d be too self conscious about my body and how it would look because back home I’m brow beaten by family members who wouldn’t like that outfit or make comments about it by pointing out my “flaws” and why it wouldn’t look good on me. Before I wouldn’t dare try too many new foods, I’d stick my nose up at it and shake my head without trying it.
After I leave here, I’m not really going to define myself anymore. It’s limiting and it can hold you back from trying things. I’m going to try new outfits, find things that look flattering, yet are trendy and fashionable, like my awesome new vest (thanks again Aunt Mindee). And ya know, I’m going to try new foods, its fun to try new things, variety is the spice of life.
So I suppose this was my Forks (even if it wasn’t raining 24/7), I re-invented myself. Changed my ways, learned so much, and it rocked. Seriously
