Today.. well you’d think it would be fun and easy. Yeah, not really. I made the mistake of staying up until two watching season three of my oh so favorite Doctor. Doctor Gregory House. I think Goat 2 got up earlier than what we’ve been used to on purpose. She woke me up at quarter to nine. Not that I’m necessarily complaining, but still, like i said, not used till getting up until quarter after nine. Either way. Goat one was still asleep and the only thing Goat 2 wanted was some cartoons so I happily obliged, popped on some cartoons for her and enjoyed. While she was watching cartoons, laying there all quiet and Happy i popped downstairs to get some breakfast and watch some Olympics before i would lose the TV to the child. Which is fine, I’m used to it by now. Goat one didn’t get up until 9:30. Which was AMAZING. I got some quiet time with Goat 2 after i had breakfast and got dressed. My bag is PACKED. I’m dressed (I’m not sure my family will recognize me!!! I look so different with a hat on and the outfit I’m wearing isn’t something they’d expect to see on me!) and I’m rearing to go. Same with both of the kids. Everything rocks. We’re just hanging out and having fun.

By the way, if you thought I was done blogging, I’m not. This year is my junior year of high school (woohoo!!) and it’s also the year of my French trip (which I’m getting money for because of watching the goats. Merci Chevres!), so it’s sure to be an interesting year!
Former Goat Nanny Diaries

Back before I arrived here, the age I’m going to call BGN (Before Goat Nanniness), I was scared to come out here. I think I spent the last three nights before I left crying in my room, which is never fun but it was late enough I didn’t have anybody fussing over me. But during one of those nights, I was IMing a really good friend of mine, and I was like “I’m scared, I know it’s too late to back out, but I really don’t want to do this.” And he said to me, “Hon, think of it as your Forks (an allusion to Twilight [we're both really into the series]), you can change who you are. You can possibly find your Edward (at the time, I liked him, a lot. Nothing would become of the crush though)…you can reinvent yourself.” I smiled, that really made my night. but then I thought about it, “What if people don’t like who i become?” He said, “They can deal with me then” That really made my night when he said that. And here I am…6 weeks later, I’ve changed.

I guess you can say before I got here I would always define myself and limit myself with those self definitions, my Aunt quickly changed that. I am who I am. No major definition there. Before I got here I would NEVER have walked into Sear’s junior department and spot the vest and gray tee combo and say “oh my God. I love it, that’s adorable.” And try it on, I’d be too self conscious about my body and how it would look because back home I’m brow beaten by family members who wouldn’t like that outfit or make comments about it by pointing out my “flaws” and why it wouldn’t look good on me. Before I wouldn’t dare try too many new foods, I’d stick my nose up at it and shake my head without trying it.

After I leave here, I’m not really going to define myself anymore. It’s limiting and it can hold you back from trying things. I’m going to try new outfits, find things that look flattering, yet are trendy and fashionable, like my awesome new vest (thanks again Aunt Mindee). And ya know, I’m going to try new foods, its fun to try new things, variety is the spice of life.

So I suppose this was my Forks (even if it wasn’t raining 24/7), I re-invented myself. Changed my ways, learned so much, and it rocked. Seriously

Who doesn’t love going to the park after wasting an hour of trying to figure out what to do?
Today was…well boring. Kinda. We rang out of things to do around 2, and after that point we were grasping at straws trying to find ways to keep entertained. I tried getting Goat 1 to read to me, that was a failure. We tried playing a game or two, that failed. And then we went outside. Which was cool. After about 15 minutes of being outside Goat 1 suggested we go to the park, because “we’re already dressed, why not?” So i popped upstairs, told my uncle (who had been home since lunch) and we set off. Goat 2 got to ride in the stroller, and i pushed her as goat 1 would run five feet ahead. It was a great walk. Peaceful, fun and full of exercise. When we finally got to the park there were some kids that Goat 1 knew, so i let him play with them and their grandma and Goat 2 and i hung out, i would help her up the handlebar ladder thingy and she would slide down this slide. It was fun. We stayed there for about an hour. I had fun, got a little bit of sun, not too much to get burnt, but enough to to get vitamin D or whatever vitamin it is.

Also, tonight I had some extra hours. Woohoo! More money! It was a great night, had pizza for the second night in a row (damn, I’m not even this privileged at home), watched the kids, did stuff a babysitter would do with kids. In other words: HAVE FUN. Which was cool, even though i did have to tap my inner child a lil bit there. Not a problem though. When it came time for the kids to go to bed, they were resentful. REALLY RESENTFUL. Okay, i lied a little bit. Goat 1 got up a whole lot of times (I know know what my aunt means when she says getting Goat one into bed is hell), but Goat 2, totally cool, I carried her up to her room and got her a sippy cup thingy of water for her. AND gave her MY stuffed dog when she couldn’t find her version of Goat 1’s “Ellie”. She was thrilled with that and snuggled under the covers with it. After the kids were totally cool, I checked in with my uncle and took a shower. And what else could i do? I could probably pop in House or watch a movie. Maybe read. But nah. Nor did i call anybody. Okay, I called Larry but that was to tell him and i quote myself “I win” because we were arguing over the time zones (he seems to think that just because I’m in Indiana, I’m an hour behind him in Connecticut.) But anyways. I actually managed to watch some TV. I watched like two hours worth of Paradise Hotel 2. One of my ABSOLUTE favorite reality shows. It’s like Big Brother, except there’s no HOH (Head of Household. [If you watch Big Brother you would know this]) and you have couples. It’s cool.

So this is my last Friday in The Haute. Damn. Time Flies. I swear it feels like just yesterday I was calling home to Dad or Sydney, maybe Mom saying “1 month and [twenty some-odd] days.” I must say, It’s been cool. We’ve definitely had the ups and the downs, but I’ve learned so much. It was definitely worth it to come out here.

I must pack… so much to stuff into the over sized duffel thingy. And scary thing is: when I was looking for a bag back home in Mom’s luggage bag type stuffs, this was the SMALLEST bag outta the whole set… but DAMN it’s huge, I can fit A LOT in it. Which is why I’ve started packing early because I packed A LOT and I don’t think Monday I’ll have the time or the patience to fold, pack and play Nanny to the kids. It’s going to be hell. But I’ll talk about what when we cross that bridge Monday.

By the way, those words are all synonymous. I wanted a fascinating way to title this.

It’s 10:00, in The Haute, I’m freakin bored outta my mind (and i’m sure my aunt would probably tell me to go to bed anyways, otherwise I would’ve told her i’m bored, thus I didn’t). My best friends are all busy. Well, one of them is sick so i’m not talking to him on the phone, but the other one is busy. My guy is MIA or AWOL whichever works better, I don’t know, and right now, i don’t care. i’m just BLAHHHHH. My SISTER (who i usually turn to when i am bored outta my mind or need a good laugh [in which case, tonight i'm both]) has deserted me because she’d rather text. I’ll remember that… so, what am i getting at? OH! That’s right. Bored. Not tired, no, i’m just bored. I have books I could read, or episodes of House to watch ( i mean yeah, not going to be able to watch them in a row like this when i get home), movies to pop in. But nothing APPEALS to me. I’m restless and bored, and i’m sure as hell probably bitchy too. Haven’t noticed that yet though, so i’m sticking with being bored and restless. I’m listening to music, trying to figure out what to do with my time. And then I figured i’d blog it. Because that’s what I do. I blog the totally and utterly random nonsense. Like this.

Looking at my room now, I’m scared. Honest to God, I’m freaked out by my room. It looks as if a disaster hit up here. But then again, That’s what happens. I’m on my bed which isn’t made (I never really got around to good house keeping in here today), the cat (which I still can’t figure out why they don’t like this adorable feline. She’s perfectly nice to me, but it’s me, I’m a cat person.) is laying next to me, her head on my leg, my pillows are a mess, the cosmo magazine my Aunt bought is open to some random article I’m yet to get around to reading… I have my facial scrub on my bed, a couple pairs of pj bottoms at the foot of my bed, and good god, My new vest, and gray tee shirt are on the dresser, more like hanging off, pair of jeans are too. My tote is hanging off of a drawer… oh. My luggage is on the ground, I think i have four tees laying on it, those need to be packed. But pretty much, i just have stuff EVERYWHERE. It’s not as bad as Sunday night but it’s still a mess.

Why is my room in this disarray?
I started to pack (I mean, I leave in FOUR days, and I’ll be too busy Monday to actually pack everything.. so why not pack now?), and then….I. Got. Sidetracked. Something about me and organization JUST DON’T work. but that’s okay. I’ll pack more when I get around to it. Might be tonight, who knows, might pack tomorrow. I have all weekend to get around to it. Until I finally straighten out my room, I’ll continue to look at the disarray and shake my head.

T minus 5 days i’m home.

I’m in the midle of taking care of the Goat’s when I get a call. A life changing call. I can either come home the 27th of August or the 18th. Thinking well i want my hair appointment, i’ll stay until the 27th. And then I think about it (also with a little bit of goading from my aunt) I end up choosing the 18th. I’m going home in FIVE DAYS. Five days from now, i won’t be on this fancy nice laptop, nah, i’ll be using dial up. Sadly. But it’s okay with me, because this is something that i’ve been waiting for since i arrived. I mean, at first I thought it was the coolest thing, until i realized, 1. there’s no mall within like 5 minute driving distance (so spoiled, at home, i’m a mall rat, every Friday night bunch of my Friends and I go out and we do the restaurant thing or the movies, or both. Or clothes shopping… or looking at dresses for the hell of it [which is ALWAYS fun]) 2. There are NO hot boys here. Not that I mind. I have a boyfriend back home, but still. I was hoping there’d be some eyecandy here. My mom was right… 3. I really depend on my sister to keep me sane. The first night I got here it was great, no sister barging into my room, no, I had a 6 year old playing video games in my room who didn’t really talk to me unless it was about the game. Made me miss my sister and her drama-involved-funny-anecdote-telling-ness… What there is here though is… 1. Vegitables! Yum, i’ve eaten so much green vegitation i think my parents would be proud 2. Awesome family that i have learned stuff from (even if it was something so dull and boring as math….) 3. No drama! I honestly can say i haven’t missed the drama that much. It’s stupid and pointless and it gives me headaches.

WHEN I go home I won’t be crashing every night at some early hour of the night. Nah, I’ll be up late, doing what I do. Which is staying up late and crashing for a few hours, followed by getting some sun (yes, i absolutely love to sun tan, I don’t like my vampire-paleness, it’s rather scary how pale I am when i’m NOT red) and hanging out with friends or heading back home for the night to stay in with the family (which, i’m curious as to whether or not my family will let me leave the house the first couple days i’m home… I mean, that’d be kind of unfair to them to get home, and say “oh hey, going out with Manda tonight… I’ll call you when I’m coming home” [which in all honesty, that sounds like a typical Friday night back home, except it's not always Amanda, it's a variation of my other friends]). But I think, I will actually stay in the first night i’m home, I’m not about to have another sleep over just yet, i miss my uncomfortable, mismatched (i have a plaid comforter, fleecy blanket type thing, a huge pillow with a green pillow case, my bed spread is flowery… and i tried having matching pink covers, but it just didn’t work with the nice huge-always-on-my-bed-even-in-the-summer comforter) bed too much. Which is depressing. I should be happy I sleep in comfort here (which I am, i just miss MY bed). Another thing, when I get home, i won’t have a plasma screen tv or an Xbox 360 in my room or seasons one through three of House. That’s something i won’t miss is all the TV at night. I was more than ecstatic when I got here to have such a large movie selection and game selection to keep myself entertained. But that took away from reading and writing (my fault for wanting to catch up on Seasons 1-3 and get medically educated by Doctor Gregory House [might just go home and buy seasons 1-4 when i go home that way I'll have something to watch when I actually find time to sit down on the sofa upstairs and do care enough to turn on the TV]). When I go home, i won’t have the huge amounts of movies in my room or a cool gaming system. i’ll have my HUGE stereo and my alarm clock radio and my iPod dock (YES I HAVE 3 SOURCES FOR MUSIC IN MY ROOM. I rock like that).

Which brings me to another point in this hodge podge of writing: I took this job, not for the money (okay maybe a little bit, but not really), or the learning experiances, but because I needed some change, and I hardly get to see my aunt because she lives so damn far away. It really sucks when you get into a routine and everything becomes predictable. It also sucks when you can’t see family because they live so far away and it costs so damn much just to fly/drive out to see them. I mean, i could’ve turned this job offer down, but I wouldn’t have bonded with my Aunt, or my cousins; i would not have learned so much; and i wouldn’t have earned any money for my france trip… which oh yeah, that reminds me:

In 8 months from now, i can make good on my dad’s quote and say “I survived, I got paid, I did it. Woohoo!”

What to say, what to write, I have the worst case of writer’s block ever.

Although, I must say, the lil kid i’m nannying for is quite the artist. I should’ve kept my eye on her for two seconds longer than I did. Had i not gotten the least bit sidetracked and came in the office for a drink, well she wouldn’t be posing for mama with a purple belly. Of course we all know that I’m not getting paid for yesterday’s mishap. Thus today i’ve had both Goats in my vision AT ALL TIMES. Seriously. Well… expcept when i was on the ‘mill but that’s an exception because only Goat 1 was out of my vision and he was in my room playing some game of some sort while I did my thing there.

If only I had a camera on me. Or near me. I’d show you the disaster that is my room, at which point I’m avoiding at all costs.

Yes, sometime this afternoon before company came over, i said to myself, “holy goodness, my bed is a disaster, my books are all over the place and dear god, are those my cargoes hanging off my dresser?” So i took to straightening it out a little bit. And I got sidetracked. REALLY sidetracked. Sidetracked enough that I had left all my bedding and what not on the floor in my doorway blocking entrance to my room so you couldn’t even walk in my room (which is the complete opposite of my room at home where i can walk and move around even if I have my bedding on the floor to make my bed), let alone get in there. okay, i lied, you could get in there, but it’s a pain in the ass to maneuver around in! It’s now sometime later, after company has came and gone, is my bed made? Nah, are my books and what not organized in my bag? Nope. Are my cargoes still hanging off of the dresser? =) Nope. I ended up wearing those when i got around to getting dressed, which is part of the reason i got sidetracked, which is WHY my blankets and what not still not properly on my bed. But they’re not on my floor either. They’re strewn on my bed now so i can at least maneuver in there in the dark because holy goodness the last thing i need to acquire while I’m here is another bruise (Oh. Haven’t mentioned that. In the month that I’ve been here, I’ve acquired more bruises than i have in the sixteen years I’ve been in existence. Sad. Scary. Makes me wonder how truly danger prone i truly am. Though, I’m not all to blame, it’s dark at night when I’m thirsty and i gotta get downstairs SOMEHOW. And I’ve walked into MANY walls, and I’ve fallen down the stairs. Not too mention I’ve bumped into my bed a couple times too, and dropped a book on my foot. But those are besides the point). Before i can snuggle into bed all warm and exhausted after today i have to make my bed. but before i can do that I’m sure I’ll have to pick up my notebook, an xbox controller and possibly a book or two and find the light switch while praying i don’t bump into the bed.

You’re probably like “who is HOBBLES”, well thats before this. That was back in May when I decided I wanted to goof off and tap the danger prone teenager that lives in me. Why am I mentioning it now? It fits right in with today….

I didn’t go to bed until close to three am. I mean who needs to sleep when you can talk on the phone and almost die of laughter at the thought of what can be done when your job ends? I was up talking to Sydney and good God does she have an idea for when I get home. She’s planned a trip to Six Flags for when i get home. I’m not much of a roller coaster type person, but hell, people change and you only live once, right? So I agreed. Well she was telling me of people’s “first times” on Superman and holy goodness I couldn’t help but snort with laughter at the thought of what i’ll be like when I go on it. i’m deathly afraid of heights (and yet i like to go on planes) and it’s just wow worthy. But after we finally said “g’night” to each other, i fell asleep, being exhausted as I was. I was out for a good…. 5 hours until I heard Goat 2 open my door and then slam it shut at which I rolled over and fell back asleep until close to eleven. Okay, I lied, I didn’t officially move from the half sleepy induced stupor until twelve. At which point the only reason i was up was because Goat 1 wanted to play video games, sure thing kiddo… sure thing. So i popped in my buds and wrote for a little, and just laid there in all of my laziness until i decided to reread my old notebook. The very same i had written in during school. So i’m reading it and laughing at myself and that’s when I came upon the entry when I had sprained my ankle because of my sheer stupidity. I mean, my idea that afternoon was great, sneak up on my cousin and get her soaked (it was a coldish afternoon for May, and she was mad at me already, so I figured why not add wood to the perverbial fire and see what happens [ah, thinking like my sister when i did that]). So I figured I’d sneak out the front door and sneak around back. Flawless, if i do say so myself, well that’s what i was thinking at the time. I forgot that the front door has a larger than average drop to the porch. And I stepped without looking at my feet, and whammo, next thing i know, i’m sprawled out, left foot underneith me in some wierd way and i’m BAWLING. It hurt so bad. Did my parents, aunt, aunt’s boyfriend, or anyone else really think to call the hospital or 911? Nope. My parents thought i’d be fine. Well… until I couldn’t stand up on my own and it hurt like HELL to move. Which it did. I DID NOT want to use my foot. No scrapes, just a really gross swollen ankle that I swear to God thought was going to kill me from the pain. Why am I reiterating this story though? Because It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon and I took a trip down memory lane to read about my stupidity that afternoon. Lesson learned, kinda. I mean, maybe it was Karma coming back to bite me in the ass for agitating my cousin (who by the way agitates me in every way and agitates me EVERY chance i get [she knows it too]), or maybe it was sheer bad luck that I would want to be sneaky and not look before stepping. But, to this day, I still don’t step properly on my heel like I’m supposed to with that foot. I toe step, and it drives Goat Mama CRAZY. Not that I TRY to toe step its a subconscious thing.

But what was the point of this whoel anecdote, story type thingey? Oh! How sometimes certain things (notebooks, songs, movies, poems, anything really) can act like a trigger to your memory and you can be instantly transported (memory-wise, not physically) back to whatever happened.

I have like 2 weeks left here.

My time here is slowly coming to a close.
This upcoming week is going to be the last normal one I get…well before I head home that is, and the norm there is so different than here. But by normal (here) i mean, getting up sometime between 8 & 10 and making the kids breakfast/brunch, playing puzzles and giving them snack. Doing lunch and going on the treadmill. And then playinng more games until free time until their mom comes home. Doing dinner and coming up to my room, using the laptop to do this, and talk to people online. Take a shower, stay up late, maybe watch a good movie/episode of House. And then fall asleep only to repeat the next day. Yeah, this week is the last of that, because the week after, the kids start school, my aunt starts grad school and that assistantship. Everything gets thrown out of wack. And then… ah yes. I go home. When i go home, everything is going to drastically change. it’ll be the norm, home style. Going out with friends, coming home early, or late depending on what we’re doing, going to bed at some obscene hour of the morning, maybe 5 or 6 to be exact (that’s what i do in the summer. I stay up crazy late and get up even later in the afternoon). Go swimming and catch rays at my grandmother’s house. And then maybe the night life repeats itself with different friends than the night before. Or perhaps I stay in and I help around the house so i can go out the next night. I have maybe a week of that until school starts.

Time flies when you have fun.